I am an IDIOT!!

How many times can a person have a good thing and screw it up? Just when things are beginning to look up, can someone partake in self-destruction? I don’t know, apparently, I’m not done yet. Ask me again in 30 or 40 years and maybe I’ll be able to give you a more accurate number.

I’m not one who usually does the woe-is-me thing, or seeks out self-pity. But….

Here is where I am now, in case you have missed any past blogs…

Divorced with two kids. Not saying that the divorce was my fault, but I’m sure the amount of travelling I did for my job, greatly contributed to it’s demise.

Neither of my kids are speaking to me, and the eldest hasn’t really spoke to me in 18 months or so. The youngest is probably going on about 6 months. Apparently, I am too strict, or too nosey, or I’m sure multiple other reasons that are probably on some level based on truth. Or at least their perception of truth.

Jobless. Haven’t been able to find a real or decent job for about two years now. Have great expections that, that will change after the upcoming elections. Trying to figure out what I would be happy doing for the next 30 years or so. Still working on that. It is very hard to change careers when you’ve only done one thing for the last 20 years. No college degree, and no money to go back to school to get one.

Bankruptcy. The lawyer “misplaced” my information. So, that is delayed now. Hard to keep up on your bills when you have no source of income.

No vehicle. Sold mine for the cash, and because someone else needed it more than I did. Plus, my financee had two. So, technically I have a vehicle, but neither is really mine.

Current relationship. I think there is a country song that talks about being “too cold at home”. That’s were I’m at now. The fiancee intercepted a message that was “misinterrepted”. Now she thinks that I may be messing around. The last few days have been tense at best. I have tried numerous times, and numerous ways to explain the message. But, so far to no avail.  — For the record: The message was innocent, I am not doing anything inappropriate!

There is an old saying that “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.” But, seriously, I think he’s trying to break me. I think he’s already broke me.

I thought I was depressed before, but with this latest batch of stress, I’m borderline… well let’s just say I’m at my breaking point. Something has to give. Something has to change.

What have I done to deserve so much punishment? When do I start to see the rewards? Why does life have to always be so damn difficult?


About cajunragin

Not really cajun. Just in spirit. Love everything about the cajun culture.
This entry was posted in Miscellaneous, Random Thoughts, Rants, Venting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I am an IDIOT!!

  1. nilza a. says:

    All I can say is good luck. I hope things will turn out better for you soon 🙂

  2. missdisplaced says:

    You realize that if you elect the Repubs and Tea Partiers, you will likely have a much harder time trying to file a personal bankruptcy?

    They are against this. In fact, former President Bush changed the laws in 2005, making it much harder for individuals to file a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which now includes a “means test” and generally tries to force them into a Chapter 13 instead.

    I am certain the laws will constrict even tighter with the GOP in charge, as many unemployed during this Depression lose everything and seek to walk away from their debt.

    • cajunragin says:

      Thanks for the political commentary. I’ll take it under advisement when I go to the polls.

      I am aware of the “means test” as I have already gone through that process.
      This election really has no barring on my bankruptcy, as the politicians won’t be sworn in until January, as my case will be filed by then and nearing the discharge date.
      I don’t plan on making this a political blog, I believe there or other more suitable blogs, and venues for that. But thanks for the comment none the less.

      • missdisplaced says:

        I hate politics, but I just wanted to point out something that many overlook. Though many may hate the current “boss” electing a “new boss” seldom makes things any better. In fact, depending on party policies in general, it often makes things worse for those struggling.

        I’m there too. I will become a 99er and lose my unemployment insurance next week. I’ve been working since I was 14, and NEVER have seen an employment market so bad. I get very annoyed and angry to see our “leaders” and wanna-be leaders, disparage the middle class unemployed. We are not lazy, on a free ride, spoiled, and refusing to work, or not trying to find work. Places simply won’t hire (as you probably know, given your situation). If I can’t find paying work soon, I will also have to file bankruptcy and walk. Believe me, this is NOT what I want to do. I have always live within my means, but after two years without a job, what other choice is there?

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