I wish that 20 or 30 years ago I would have been more focused and less carefree. That I spent more time figuring out what I wanted to do when I grew up! Here I sit, unemployed, with little formal training on paper, and no college degree. Don’t get me wrong I consider myself to be of above or slightly above average intelligence. I have held white collar jobs since I was 22. But there are passions that I sometimes which I would have pursued, passions I wish I would have known about.
But here I sit, approaching mid-life crisis with no job and still wondering what I want to do when I grow up!
I know that its never to late to pursue a passion, to start over, to go back to school. But those things all take time and money. Time, I have. Money, I do not. Quite the conundrum!
I am a proud person. Its hard for me to go backwards, in hopes of going forward. But at the same time I know that presently, I am stagnant.
I consider myself to be a conservative risk taker. An analytical risk taker. One who can quickly see all the options, and outcomes, make a decision and live with or adapt the consequences.
I find myself losing my edge. That quick ability to see or ‘predict’ the outcome. Less willing to take the risk, because I have less to gamble with, and in a way, more to lose.
I would like to find a job that I can once again be passionate about, that I can regain my edge. That I can get ahead and reevaluate where I’m going and where I want to be. I want a company that’s willing to take a chance on me!
I realize that there are probably a lot of ‘me’s’ out there and this economic condition just sucks!
I believe that we are not given more than what we can handle. But man, I don’t know how much more I can handle.
I believe that we get what we deserve in life. But man, I don’t think I’m that bad of a person.